After a month in California, with no computer or agenda, I am back in Pennsylvania. However this is temporary.
One thing I have learned along the way is that I need to be more like I was when I was in high school. While some may think that sounds odd, it actually makes total sense. In high school I juggled a girlfriend, job, friends, homework, sports, fishing, family, and most importantly did that while not having the easiest home life. Of course I’m not going to elaborate on that, this isn’t the Oprah show, and even if it was I wouldn’t dwell on that because it is quite frankly pointless. The point I am getting at is even under pressure, I was able to juggle and deal with a great many things. Now being older, it seems there are many less things to juggle, perhaps my case is unique, but it is what it is.
I used to live by the Ferris Bueller mantra “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
It’s time to bring that back into my life, and remember that keeping a continual can of git-r-dun open will actually prove to be counterproductive.
So what have I been doing for the past month? Nothing, and everything. The change of scenery, and being for the most part utterly alone put me into a different mind set, and I started to look at the world in an old, familiar, and welcome way. They way I used to see the world.
Ideas began to flow, I started smiling more. NOT because I was in California as some would like to believe, but because I changed things, and after I did, without the distraction of a computer, work, television, friends, family, or anything else; I subconsciously started to see the world with a sense of wonder again. That is when the ideas began to flow.
This is a good thing.
Why am I back in Pennsylvania again? Financial, strategic, and personal. While I am most certainly planning on permanently returning to the left coast in just a couple months returning here has also been fantastic. I KNOW that I’m not staying, and with little agenda on my plate right now, I have been able to clear my mind. I now am enjoying my home state as if I am a visiting tourist that just happens to know a ton of people. Those people may not have the time to dedicate to my project, but they have an evening to sit down for a beer, they have an afternoon to go whitewater rafting, and even a LAN party or two.
Since returning I have been having the time of my life with my friends, starting a new relationship that has me feeling like a 14 year old doesn’t hurt either. I will be travelling over the next couple of months meeting with different potential advisors and investors. I am terrified and excited. Part of me wants to lock myself in a basement and bask in the glow of my monitor while tapping away at a keyboard working, while another part of me wants to see all of this over with…so I can get back to basking in the glow of my monitor working. The reality is, there is currently just a laptop that was given to me, and laptops are for when you aren’t in front of a workstation, they aren’t intended for actual work.
What I can do however, is get back to what I was recommending to myself in a previous post. Contacting individuals whom I respect professionally and asking their advice. Plato wrote in the Allegory of the Cave that you cannot look directly at a truth, that you have to come to it in a roundabout way. I now think I am ready to start asking questions and presenting my cause to the professionals I look up to.
Sometimes, in order to go forward, you need to stand still.